Posted on December 17, 2019 by Monique Bullock
Ladies or men, have you ever been in a position where your significant other was trying to tell you that you are getting a little fluffy?
I have. Did I throw him out the window and flip him the finger? Nope. Were my feelings hurt? Yes, of course!
So here’s a story about what happened and how we handled it…
It was about seven in the morning and my significant other and I was having pillow talk. Reflecting on the day before, kisses here and there, and a few giggles in between, was the present vibe in the room. After a moment of silence he says, “Hey babe. Do you think you’ve gained a few pounds?” The present vibe had now gone dark in my eyes. I hadn’t fully processed what had happened when I replied, “What? No, I don’t think I’ve gained any weight.” I scooted away from him in the bed and he tried to cuddle back up to me, but the more I sat there in silence the more enraged I became. He asked, “Babe, are you upset?” I replied truthfully telling him yeah. I told him that telling me I’m gaining a few pounds near the time of my period or any other time for that matter was unacceptable.
He now flipped up the sheets and got out of the bed, feeling bad. I lay there contemplating how I should handle the situation. Google came to mind! Ha! I thought to myself. Am I really googling this.
About thirty minutes went by and he came back into the room explaining why I should not be so upset. Imagine a red fire blazing in my eyes when I said, “don’t you ever say anything negative about me or my body image, or that will be it for us!” After back and forth arguing and tears from my end, we finally decided what to do.
Ready for the answer? We listened to each other. I now told him how the sensitive topic made me feel and, of course, I know he loves me and my body the way it is. He explained that he just wants us to be more active so that in the future, we would both be more healthy and live a long happy life. Now doesn’t that sound better than, babe don’t you think you’ve gained a few pounds?
I told him that I agree and that next time, to bring up the topic, just say babe let’s go play tennis or let’s go running together. This is a less aggressive way and both you and your partner are now being active together. Also, cooking together. Doing things that will benefit you both will be fun and will make your relationship stronger as well.
In summary: If your significant other mentions your weight in a, less than positive way.
Relationships can be tough at times, and hearing negative things about yourself from your significant other is hard. Communication is important. Teach your significant other how you would like to be loved.
Signed, A sort of fluffy gal :-)